Law jokes
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
Why do orphans play GTA5 so much?
So they could be wanted.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
Memes
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
Why can't orphans become criminals? Because she isn't wanted.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.