Law jokes
You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.