Law jokes
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
Gun control...
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?
Marry her.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!
It's okay, you had socks on :)
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.