Law jokes
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
I'm illegal.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!
Gun control...
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?
Marry her.
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.