Executioner jokes

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"

"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"

What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.

The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"

He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."

They eat them, jump off, and die.

He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.