What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
