Law jokes
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Memes
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)