Law jokes

A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?

The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."

Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

Why did Sally cross the road?

She didn’t wear her seatbelt.

I just got a job at the prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

Because the white guy actually did it.

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?

Why do orphans go to prison?

Because that's their only home.

Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?

Because he comes in a little behind.

The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.

Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

How to commit arson:

1. Burn down an orphanage.

What do you call an orphan with parents?

I don't know... what?

Kidnapped. :)

"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."