Law jokes
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.