Law jokes
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.
What's with all the orphan jokes? Kinda sus. #fbi
Everyone is so sensitive about racial issues these days.
All I did was burn a couple crosses and I'm up on federal hate crime charges.
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.
What's a psych ward worker's favorite incense?
Insurance fraud.
What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?
"I was raped raped."
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.