Law jokes
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
Memes
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.