A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
