Why do orphans commit crimes?
So they can be wanted for once.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
