Law jokes
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
So they can be wanted for once.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.