Law jokes

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

What is a briefcase?

A short lawsuit.

I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?

A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.

Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

So they can be wanted for once.

Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.

What's a convict's favorite chore?

Weeding.

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.

Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?

His running mate has 34 of them!

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

Why did the orphan become a killer?

Because he knew they would not look for him.