Law jokes
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Memes
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
So they can be wanted for once.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.