Law jokes
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.