Law jokes
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Memes
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.