Law jokes
9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"