Law jokes
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
Why did Orphan become famous?
Because he didn't need parent permission.
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?
Border hoppers! LOL.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.