Law jokes
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Memes
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."