Law jokes
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
I fucked my mom.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
My teacher is a rapist.
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.