Law jokes
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
Why was the guitarist arrested? He fingered a minor.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
It's okay, you had socks on :)