Law jokes
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
How do you get away with rape?
A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.
PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.
And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.
And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.
Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police.
And he wound up in prison.
What do you call a dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?
A small medium at large.
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!
If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered A minor (get it, like the chord A minor)?
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
What is the difference between the human rights act and a home?
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."