Law jokes
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.
Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
Do you know why I hate pedophiles? They are fucking immature kids!
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
Why did the rapist not get sentenced?
Because rule 69 said so 🤣🤣