Law jokes

What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.

How did the guy rob the water park?

He used a water gun!

LOL 💦🔫💧🌊

Why did Orphan become famous?

Because he didn't need parent permission.

Why are orphans lucky? Because they don’t need a license plate because they don’t have a home.

"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"

What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?

Dodge the coat hanger!

Abortion isn't murder, it's more like backspacing a typo.

It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.

Weird.

Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.

My cousin is a surgeon.

Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.

This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."

What's the difference between a club and a bar?

I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.

Bill Cosplay

Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.

Murder, murder, suicide by police.

I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.

You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.

My life #freemymanrkelly