Law jokes
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
what do you call an autistic police officer? special forces
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
FUCKING GENIUS
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.