Law jokes
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.