Law jokes
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.