"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault.
The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.
Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
