I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player”. In Chuck Norris case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
When they say you live by the sword you die by the sword, not in Paul Walkers case he lived by the car died by a tree well I guess the car was stumped
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive
I guess age is just a number but in your boyfriends case a personal preference.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Your hairline is so back far it became a case
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
Why do I carry pepper spray? JUST IN CASE OF AS-SAULT.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ILL RHYMES
what's black and red/read all over? a baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the milky way!
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
