Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Language Jokes
kapteyn = captain
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Angel is a good word.
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
Scree.
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
It's punny.
