Language jokes

A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."

Dan, I'd bent.

"Hey, what does IDK mean?"

"I don't know."

"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"

What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?

Boi Ling.

Does this sentence make any sense?

What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?

A dictator.

How do you talk to giants? Using big words.

Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Mike Oxlong: What's deez, Mike?

Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez?

Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!

16 is a knight? Mail.

What did the 3 say to the 8? Have fun!

What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?

Moorry Christmas!

(Even though cows can't really have religions.)

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

You soak balls, get it?

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."