Language jokes
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
What do you call a PEIS?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!
What did the 3 say to the 8? Have fun!
Memes
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
Scree.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
I put the D in Children.
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
What starts with F and ends with uck? Firetruck, what were you thinking?
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).