Language jokes
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
"Why did my name start with an L? Because it is lips, lol."
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
My fish puns aren't on porpoise.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "Daddy."
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!