Language jokes
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."
My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"
Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Memes
Fr shit
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
What did the 3 say to the 8? Have fun!
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
It's punny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!
Scree.
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol