Language jokes
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone: "Wing wing arrow."
I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
Say "lettuce" and spell "cup."
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.
You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."
...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.