Language jokes

Man says, "What's Ligma?"

Woman says, "Ligma balls!"

Baby says nothing, she transgender.

If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?

I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

Say "lettuce" and spell "cup."

Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.

What's wrong with 89?

You blow me and I owe you one.

What does a cat say when it's angry?

- Stop stressing meowt!

Sugar Honey Ice Tea.

I FORGOT MY JOKE!

What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"

What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.

You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."

...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"

Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

A.

A who?

A-bless you!

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

"Knock Knock..."

"Who's There?"

"Kenya"

"Kenya who?"

"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Water.

Water who?

Water you waiting for, just let me in!

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)