Language jokes
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
If O2 is H2O, what is F?
It is H2O too; F is water as well.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Key.
Key who?
Key moo.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
Why did people say a man had nothing? ... Because he was a-nonymous.
I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
You have Chinged your last Chong.
Succcccc.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I don’t have a clue.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"