Language jokes

Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.

What do you call a failure in another language?

Me.

I have 25 friends in the alphabet.

But I don't know why.

You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”

*Apple bottom jeans plays*

Why did the Italian cross the road?

C'era un uliveto.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

No one.

No one who?

...

Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?

Because the "p" is silent.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!

How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.

I C U P works on 88% of people.

I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Sum Ting Wong.

So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.

One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.

What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).

If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.

That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀

Do you like all the jokes I’ve been “cracking?”

Hello.