Feed Jokes

Why are dolphins so smart?

Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.

Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.

What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.

So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: "so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down" and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I'm just fuckin with u she's DEAD!"

The image contains text from a tweet by Alice Smith that says: "Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Elect a man to fish for you, and all of a sudden fishing becomes some mystical function that only a few elite in society can perform, at great expense to the rest of it."

A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.

After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

for 15 cents a day you can feed an African child they eat spare change i guess

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke and it asked me “what is the difference between a large pizza and you”one can feed a family

What do they feed a gorilla in Paris? Ape suzettes.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorist have in common? “Here comes the airplane!”

When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children.

It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

( Guy 1: Why my cat's so angry ? ) ( Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage ) ( Guy 1: Don't you ? ) ( Guy 2: Yeah it seems delicious ) ( Guy 1: Mmm so .. w-wait what are you doing ? I didn't think you mean the one in my lunch :< where are you leaving #_# ) **Meow ...** ( Guy 1: Shut up i will never feed you this sausage it's not for you :< -_- </3 )

Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting

Sneed feed seed

Formerly chuck's!

Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card and we live far and we my mom was hungry. A guy and his friend had a car and k us if we were lost. We said no we have no ride, no money and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each so I was driving the car and my mom gave the both guys a blowjob. We had to get out the car to look for something then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I ask what the bad news that they're not taking us home so I ask what the good news they told me that they feed my mom and drove off. I guess where we i guess the left us wsnt long walk and my mom wasm't hungry no more.