Language jokes
What do you call a PEIS?
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
Shoot.
American-accented, British pronunciation, what am I?
Either Canadian or European.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
Fuck off!
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
Say "I cup" but in words.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.