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George

George jokes

Road

They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.

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    • George Washington

    Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?

    A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

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    • Son

    Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

    Dad: “Call me George.”

    Memes

    George memes

    9/11

    What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.

    Girl

    Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"

    Death

    A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

    B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

    C is for Clara who wasted away.

    D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

    E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

    F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

    G is for George smothered under a rug.

    H is for Hector done in by a thug.

    I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

    J is for James who took lye by mistake.

    K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

    L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

    M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

    N is for Neville who died of ennui.

    O is for Olive run through with an awl.

    P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

    Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

    R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

    S is for Susan who perished of fits.

    T is for Titus who flew into bits.

    U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

    V is for Victor squashed under a train.

    W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

    X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

    Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

    Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

    Covid

    My brother caught Covid last month.

    First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

    I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

    Yo mama

    Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.

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    • Friend

    A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

    I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."