I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke
What’s the German word for BRA? Keeptwofromfloppin.
Someone at school judged my grammar. I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up and I'll see you on Monday
Two Italian men get on a bus...
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am wan kin the chef." I said that I'll come back later
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): How are you doing? Me, an autist: Pretty bad honestly. Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
what did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? da fok yu sai tu meee.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with north korea
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know y.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B"?
In Portuguese, Trumpa means bullshit
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes
Asians love it when a british person says "Rice"!
What's the difference between saying bloody in America and in the U.K?
In the U.K, it's a swear word
In America, it's a family reunion
What should you never say to a Japanese person, Your da Bomb!
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida." I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was "You unplugged my life support", that's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican one has papers
Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.
