Language jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
Why did the man say "hi ti bye?"
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
I wonder how many people read this wrong.
Is die?
Why can't men play baseball?
Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
If you say to someone, "Have a nice day!" it will make them happy. If you say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours," they'll be terrified.
There’s no “I” in team, but there is a “U” in cunt.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
Do you like all the jokes I’ve been “cracking?”
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Knock knock... Who's there? Surprise! Surprise who? Surprise, mother fucker!
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.