Language jokes
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk" home from a tree house? 🏠
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
What do you call a bee from America?
A USB.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?
A teacher says, "What comes before 47?" Quiet kid: "AK!"
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Shitty bichi cup.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.