Language

Language Jokes

I have two things i wanna say: 1. when ppl swear stop taking it so fucking literally. if someone calls u a bitch, they're not calling u a female dog. if they call u a cunt, they're not calling u a woman's private part, they r calling u either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby or something along those lines. ffs 2. wtf

dang... if i could rearrange the alphabet i would put D IN U ;)

i only know there is 25 letters in the alphabet, i don't know Y.

(mE: how many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (friEnd: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(mE: there are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (crUsh: no. there is actually 26) -- (mE: oooOoh, i forgot u r a q t ! so its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (crUsh: you forgot the D) -- (mE: thats not needed yet ;] )

what letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.

What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python? When they are hungry they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eat for a day, you give a man a language and he eat for a lifetime

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute.

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office. The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

A man found out that he was going to die. A German doctor comes in and says “you have 10 more”. The man yells out “10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!”. And the doctor says ”No seconds” and the man says “9 SECONDS!!!” And the doctor says “Nine Ten Seconds” He asked “How many seconds do i have to live 10,9 , or..........” Then he died and learned how to say no in German....

When did “yo” mean Hello. They are so different, how did they mean the same thing. Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language.

Why did the farmers wife chase the chickens out of the yard?

Cuz they were using fowl language!