Language jokes
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
Butter believe it.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
Spell "I cup." It's funny.
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?