Language jokes

I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

We don't read backwards.

Why can't a blind person eat fish?

They can't see food.

Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.

Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?

Student: Apple!

Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?

Student:....Bitch...

What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?

What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?

In the U.K., it's a swear word.

In America, it's a family reunion.

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven.

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Philipe Philope.

In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."

Spell "I cup." It's funny.

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

Butter believe it.

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

No, it's harmless.

What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?

Everything.

What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!

What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"