Knife

Knife Jokes

Suicide

What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?

Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)

Blade

what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.

Poison

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

Last Word

I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”

  • 2
  • Woman

    Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?

    A: A knife has a point.

    Date

    When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

    Skill

    I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.

    Number

    Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?

    Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.

    Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)

  • 9
  • Ball

    Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪

    Death

    My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪

    Rapist

    The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

    Name

    When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.