Knife jokes
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
Yo mama so fat, everytime she has to use the world's largest knife.
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”
Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?
The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!
James Arnold: My grandma walked in while I was knife raping my wife.
I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.