i watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. only got caught once.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says " Come! Meet Jesus!" One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first"
whats flat and great for cutting? me
Me: wanna play a game Sister: ya, what is it Me: tic tac toe Sister:? Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve Me: tic tac toe
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce."
Guy: "can I tell you a joke?" Spiderman: "yes" Guy: "you only have 11 months on your calendar" Spiderman: "why" Guy: holds up knife* "because I murdered May"
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in, and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said,"Drama queen!"
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The fuck you doing whit that knife
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
there's two types of emo people
1. people that cut side to side
2. and people that cut up and down
the most efficient is up and down
Q: what's the difference between a fetus and an onion? A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces
Q: What's the best way to carve wood? A: Whittle by whittle.
dudeeeeeeeeeee if u stabe a cereal box will that make u a cereal killer?
Are you a knife? because i want you
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point
