Guy: "can I tell you a joke?" Spiderman: "yes" Guy: "you only have 11 months on your calendar" Spiderman: "why" Guy: holds up knife* "because I murdered May"
there's two types of emo people
1. people that cut side to side
2. and people that cut up and down
the most efficient is up and down
Q: what's the difference between a fetus and an onion? A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces
Q: What's the best way to carve wood? A: Whittle by whittle.
dudeeeeeeeeeee if u stabe a cereal box will that make u a cereal killer?
Are you a knife? because i want you
One day i was texting my friend on roblox and i made her made her mad. she told me she was gonna kill me. that night she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 pm sharp. but she made sharp in all caps. so i went to the bathroom at pm the next day. now i know what she meant by SHARP on roblox...... she brought a knife and i was in hell by then. like for the next part!
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point
* sans at sans favorite restaurant* Sans: hey frisk what do you eat today?
Frisk: one knife plz
sans: ok one knife plz
Waiter: you eat a knife?
Frisk: yes
* waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: here you go
Frisk: thanks you
I got in trouble at school today bc I played the knife game with a pair of scissors but I couldn't flip them off bc I was missing that finger.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do Mexicans cut there pizza with .a. Littlel Caesars
Cut
My therapist said Time heal all wounds. I stabbed him. Now we wait....
What is a suicidal horny persons job?
, a butcher
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said "hi." I said, " knife to meet you."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
