Kid jokes
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.