Kid

Kid jokes

Torch

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

Death

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

Teacher

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

Memes

Ground

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

Tree

Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?

A: Wave at him.

Adult

Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.

Similarity

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

Michael Jackson

Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?

Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂

Soviet Union

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

Down Syndrome

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

Milk

Kid: Dad, where are you going?

Dad: To get milk.

TEN YEARS LATER

Kid's friend: Where's your dad?

Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.

Music

I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

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  • Fight

    If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

    Detention

    I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

    Basement

    Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

    Officer: You OK, kid?

    Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

    Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

    When officer leaves:

    Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

    Sex

    A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

    The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"