Kid jokes
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
FOR REAL
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.