Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement

when your wife gets pregnet and you dont want a kid just come on down to momma mias pizzareia and abortion clinic!

What did the kid with Parkinson drink for breakfast? Milkshake

Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo. KId: Why? Dad: I clean up animal s hit at a zoo.

My disabled dad went to the grocery store

He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him

Finally he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle

Roses are red, I like girls from the south, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kids head and farting in his mouth.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom, she pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)". The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied:" In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

Me: punching a kid My FBI: your adopted

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps.on a cockroach. They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!” Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?” Source: http://jokesfan.com/little-johnny-jokes.html

this kid yelled jenga when we were watching a 9 11 documentary.

How do you keep a blind kid entertained? You take him to a stadium crowd then give him a bat and tell him to hit the pinyata.

What something the same about a depress kid anda hanger they both like to hang

"it never gets old" "just like a sick kid"

Why did the kids love the mushrooms? Because their fun-guys!

a kid asks for an ice cream the man says any sauce and the kid says na i got ketchup at home

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Names......

When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”