Kid jokes
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Why was the kid's report card all wet?
Because it was below "sea" level.
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.