Kid jokes

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

What do emo kids like to smoke?

"Marjuanakillmyself."

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?

Special forces.

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?

My best friend.

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation to the orphanage :)

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!