Kid jokes

Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?

Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.

Stranger: Do you need a doctor?

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.

Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.

One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"

The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."

After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."

The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"

After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.

The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."

The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."

The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."

The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."

The first kid then says: "I know, right?"

They then begin a snowball fight.

The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"

Funny jokes are like kids with autism.

They have special needs to make them.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, I'm just a burden.

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

Dumb kid: What does homework mean?

Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?

Me:

"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"

So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.

So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"

So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!

Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?

Teacher: What?

Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.

Kid: "Grandma, what's dark humour?"

Grandma: "See that man in the wheelchair over there?"

Kid: "But Grandma! I'm blind!"

Grandma: "Exactly."