Kid jokes

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.

I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.

Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.

Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."

The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?

Because he sexually kids 😂

Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.

I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.

What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?

The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"

Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"

Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.

This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)

"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."

Why is there a middle school?

Because the kids that go there are middle class families.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

Why did the kid cry?

His dad didn't get the milk.

What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.

What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?

When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.