Kid jokes

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?

The kids section.

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

Kid: Dad, where are you going?

Dad: To get milk.

TEN YEARS LATER

Kid's friend: Where's your dad?

Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.

I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

Why did KFC take orphan?

Because kids fattening center.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."

Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.

What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?

Van Halen's "Jump."

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...

What do emo kids like to smoke?

"Marjuanakillmyself."

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.