Kid jokes
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
FOR REAL
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.