Kid jokes

What flowers are on your face?

What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.

I hate when my brother dates other people.

Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵

What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"

I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.

School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.

I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.

Guess what? It had no home button.

The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.

"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.

"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.

When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.

What do priests and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!

Mom: Exactly.

I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.

Me: I know why you don't have friends.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because you can't even figure that out.