Kid jokes

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

Hear the one about the deaf kid?

He didn't.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.

When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?

One kid in eight dustbins.

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

Kids?