Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Kid Jokes
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Kids?
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
