Kid

Kid Jokes

Yo mama

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

Lamp

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Yo mama

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

Cat

When you tell an Asian kid itโ€™s raining cats and dogs and heโ€™s like, โ€œJust open your mouth and close your eyes!โ€

Orphan

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

Ladder

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Girl

Girl: Iโ€™m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think youโ€™re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: Whatโ€™s the ijk?

Boy: Iโ€™m just kidding.

Orphanage

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, ๐Ÿคฃ.

Hand

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Food

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

Drill

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

Epilepsy

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

Priest

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.