Kid jokes

When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

Hear the one about the deaf kid?

He didn't.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.

When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.