Kid jokes
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
"Rosex, why you search that?" Does it mean "Roblox sex?" Kid, stop!
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.