Kid jokes
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
Willy Wonka meme
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"