Kid jokes
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.