Kid jokes
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.
Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!
Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.