Kid jokes
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my anus?"
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
No offense to anyone though. I don’t understand why everyone is bullying a person named Gwen?
My opinion is well “it’s just a regular person wanting to do jokes. You never know. It could be an adult or a kid.”
So leave her alone. Thank you. 😁
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.
The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.