Kid jokes
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.