
Kid jokes
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,
“Boo.”
“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”
Jack sat down next to her and smiled.
“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.
“That sounds fun,” said Jill.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. They frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.
“You ready?” Asked Jack.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.
Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.
Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.
“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.
Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.
Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
