Kid jokes

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?

Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!

Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?

Kid 2: No!

Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.

Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.

Kid 1: Aw, thanks!

Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10

What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?

They both can't hear their parents.

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.