Kid jokes

Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.

He never sees his kids.

I read to deaf kids in my spare time.

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.

Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?

Dad:

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?