Kick Jokes

one time the quite kid hacked the speakers in a school next thing you know it pumped up kicks by Foster The People starts playing

Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

why did cinderella get kicked out of disney land because she sat on Pinocchios face and said lie bastatd lie

i went to a park then i kick a ball at a kid in a wheel chair then screamed rocket league

When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays pumped up kicks

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You’re so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked “Are you moving?”

You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.

Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back

I heard that my Crush got kicked in the Balls and when I thought of it...

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I told a crippled guy he is immortal cause he cant kick the bucket

My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater

atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touch each other or anything, so sir, I did not drop-kick that child

So a blind guy is sitting on a park bench his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guys leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat. A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man. That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit. The blind man says Oh it’s not what you think I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the Ass.

why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? because he had a big bill

I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.

Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs! Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!