Kick Jokes

A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.

Roblox Talent Shows be like:

Host: Next Up is Bob!

Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian-

*Buzzing Noises*

Judges: You suck!

Bob: I'm reporting!

*Bob get's kicked from the server*

What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?

Ripping it off with a kick!

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 buckle some more.

5, 6 Nike kicks.

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 open the door.

5, 6 Nike kicks.

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

DOGE POKÉMON CARD!!!

Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?

You'll get jur ass kicked.

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.

What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?

She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.

White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"

If your ever bord kick in orphan.What are they going to do,tell there parents.

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.