Kick Jokes

How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole

I got kicked outta the poker game They said i was a little*cheet-ah*

Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival, Because he was cutting in line.

I kicked a soccer ball at a wheelchair kid and said ROCKET LEAGUE

My nan broke her toe by a brick today, last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire . Does that now mean I have to toe her back to the doctors.

if you kick a orphan what are they gonna do tell there parents on you

Q. How does an Isis terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped up kicks"

When babies kick their mother it'd okay but when I do it, it's a crime...

“If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag.”

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

how do you end arguement with an emo, kick the chair

i saw a girl crying i told her where are your parents She cried more after that i got kicked out of the Orphanage

so i went to my freinds house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out i dont like visitors.

my dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls, hes the one that told me always aim for them, is that why i dont have a brother

What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?

He kept dropping the BEETS

a blonde a brunette and a redhead are robbing a bank. the police are soon after them so they hide in a bunch of barrels. the police arrive and search the area, they come over too the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it, the brunette says "woof". "oh, it's just a dog" says the police officer and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. the redhead says "meow", "oh it's just a cat" says the officer then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden the blonde says "potato"