Kick jokes

Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.

US Marine: Knock knock!

Al Qaeda fighter: Who's there?

US Marine: (Kicks down door, throws grenade, opens fire) FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!

I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.

I kicked a goose, and I liked it!

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.

Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.

So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.

An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.

I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.

You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.

There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.

Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.

Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.

What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?

Kick her.

Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?

Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?

P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.

If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the chin.

I HATE URANUS! I WANNA KICK IT!