Justice jokes
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
Wanna hear a joke? Women have no rights!
Why did the orphan become a criminal?
Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A vigilANTe!
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?
He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because he's a registered sex offender.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.