Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."
Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."
Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
Do you have dark humor?
Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
My grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology." I said, "We will see about that," and I unplugged his life support.
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
