Justice jokes

Why am I in jail?

All I did was cause 9/11.

I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?

He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.

How to be a hero.

1. Tie a noose in your front yard.

2. Find and capture a furry.

3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.

It’s easy as 1-2-3!

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.

Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.

How do you get away with rape?

A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.

PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂

You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.

Did you hear about the bank robber?

Turns out he got shot by the police.

And he wound up in prison.

Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?

There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.

A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.

When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.

A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.

The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.

Why did the rapist not get sentenced?

Because rule 69 said so 🤣🤣

How do you get away with murder?

Cruel and unusual punishment.

What's the difference between Batman and Robin?

Batman can go to the store without robbin'.