Joke jokes
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.