Joke jokes
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ididap!
Ididapoo!!
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!
What does a house wear? Address.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.