Joke jokes
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ididap!
Ididapoo!!
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
You look pretty today... April Fools!
Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
For jokes, search my YouTube channel: Knowledge with arslan.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.