Joke jokes
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
I asked my sister to say something.
She said, "No."
That's what I like to hear.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.
Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
It's not a joke.
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.