Joke jokes

How do you make a sad person jump?

A bridge.

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.

Kobe jokes just don’t land well anymore.

What do you call a rich Asian?

Cha-ching!

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).

Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.

Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?

A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

Mom: ❓❓❓

I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?

What is an orphan's family tree?

A stump.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?

An orphan.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?

Panera dread.

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”