Joke jokes
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
Memes
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.