Joke jokes

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.

Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?

You: No.

Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

James: I have a joke. Sex!

Ronny: I don't get it.

James: Exactly.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

Why was 10 afraid?

Because he was in the middle of 9/11.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.

I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.

How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.