Joke jokes

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.

Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?

I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.

Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?

You: No.

Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?

You can hear a hormone.

James: I have a joke. Sex!

Ronny: I don't get it.

James: Exactly.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.

Why was 10 afraid?

Because he was in the middle of 9/11.

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.