Joke jokes
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
Kobe jokes just don’t land well anymore.
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.