Joke jokes

Wanna hear a joke?

Me.

What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?

People actually want stuff in a supermarket.

What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!

What kind of star will come out in the daytime?

A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂

Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.

Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.

He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.

Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.

Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.

Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.

What's wrong with 89?

You blow me and I owe you one.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.

What were the emo kid's pronouns?

Was/were.

What do apples and orphans have in common?

The apple gets picked.

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.

Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?

Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.

"Subah" means morning.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.

Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???

Bully: I wasn't talking to you.

Me: Then why are you listening?

What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.