Joke jokes

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.

Feminists are a joke.

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?

Answer: A family photo.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

What do you call a rich Asian?

Cha-ching!

A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.

The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.