Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
Joke Jokes
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
Here's a sex joke.
What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
