Joke jokes

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.

What do you tell a depressed person?

Just hang in there!

Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).

Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?

A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?

They're both dead...

What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?

Panera dread.

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.

What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?

An orphan.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

Feminists are a joke.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?

Answer: A family photo.

Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.

Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."