Intelligence jokes
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
You smell like you farted. FARTED harted HARTED. A B honor rolls, all F's, you retarded. OHHHHHHHH!
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
What is the difference between Joe Biden and a knife?
A knife has a point.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
3+3=****
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Follow me if you know someone smart.
Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.
Son, we are geniuses!