Intelligence jokes
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
What do you call an idiot?
An absolute imbecile.
Yo mama so dumb, she failed the survey.
Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
What does Stephen Hawking have for food?
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Pillsbury was a fruit.
Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.
Your forehead is so big that Mastermind thought you were his long lost brother!
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
I'm so friking dumb, even I need Joe Mama so fricking bad.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.