Intelligence jokes
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal? One's a busy ditch.
Stephen Hawking = dead smart.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
What do you call a blonde who's dyed her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
How do you make an idiot say how?
Yo mama so stupid, she couldn't comment on this website because she didn't know the 2x4 check!
Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
Yo mama so stupid!
She bought a spoon... TO THE SUPERBOWL!