INS jokes
"I need to go to the doctor!"
"Why?"
"It has a crack in it."
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.
Should we go to America for treatment?
We stayed in Essen and then left.
What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa? The water gun.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!