INS jokes
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.